Thursday, October 27, 2011

Mortifying the city of Manassas...

So, as some of you may know, I recently moved to Virginia. (Not exactly Porn Valley.) Naturally, in the midst of running errands for various items for scenes, I feel the need to add comments from the peanut gallery about the items in which I purchase together. (What else makes someone even more uncomfortable than you acknowledging their discomfort? Ha ha.)

Rundown of my day...

Walmart: Enemas + Astroglide + Coffee Creamer = $9.01

Slapping them down at the register and saying "Bet you don't get a whole lot of this around here!" to the dense cashier girl and making her severely uncomfortable... PRICELESS!

DollarTree: Jumbo Glow Stick + Mini Tripod + False Eyelashes + Cat Toy + Make-up Sponges + Balloons + Ball Shooting Gun + Silicone Pacifiers + Bubble Playset + Blow Pops + Cable Ties (Multi-Colored) + Disposable Douche = $16.78

Watching the young mans face as he rings this plethora of items up and explaining that he can look for the full explanation online... PRICELESS!

Yes, folks! I have officially begun mortifying the city of Manassas. I'm sure more debauchery is to come! Somehow it still doesn't compare to my second night here when I got belligerently drunk going shot for shot with my boyfriends father and said to the girl walking out of the bar with her baby "Don't worry sweetie, I wont hurt you, my fist is still smaller than your baby!"

Surprisingly enough, his dad LOVES me!

XxX <3 Faye Runaway

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